12 Things That Go Through Your Mind As You’re Getting a Brazilian or Hollywood Wax
As far as beauty routines go, Brazilian or Hollywood waxing sessions are probably the most awkward. Unlike a haircut or dye job, it’s not something we’re usually willing to discuss over brunch with our besties. We know it’s absolutely nothing to be embarrassed of—especially if you want a stubble-free bikini line—but that doesn’t stop all those blush-inducing thoughts from popping into our heads.
From the rules on small talk to the imminent moment the wax is pulled off, here are 12 things that may have gone through your mind during this often slightly uncomfortable process.
1. Is she going to judge me for my underwear choices?
So they’re not little lacy boyshorts from Cosabella, but she has got to understand the pros of a pair of Granny panties. VPL aside, the comfort can’t be beat.
2. Small talk seems awkward right about now.
Should I bring up how hot it is outside? Compliment her on her perfectly dyed roots? What are the rules about chit chat! Does my aesthetician really want to discuss anything when she’s slathering on wax to my bikini line?
3. Should I ask her questions about the process?
Honestly, there’s no way I’m going to attempt to DIY this—it’s just a better option than the god-awful white noise.
4. Why on earth would anyone put a fan there?
That’s the breeziest I’ve felt in quite a while.
5. So it’s been a while since my last wax…
I haven’t been seen at the pool in a bit, but at least I got to that essential quarter-inch length?
6. Never thought I’d look forward to wax being poured on my bikini line.
I always expect burning hot lava, but this is strangely soothing.
7. OK, how long is this wax going to take to dry?
I’m all for not putting back on those jeans, but the bank closes in 35 minutes… Can we get a hairdryer to this stuff?
8. Is it weird to text right now?
My Google calender isn’t public, right?
9. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.
Or scream, or jump, or fall off the table.
10. OMG, we’ve only done one side?
Let’s speed things up! It’s like anticipating a band-aid being ripped off your skin—and there’s nothing fun about it.
11. Guess I’m not going to the gym tonight.
It’s a valid excuse if it’s for my safety.
12. Do I say “thank you” or “I’m sorry”?
Going to go with the gratitude and a more than generous tip, but I feel like she deserves to be showered in both.
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